How many layers deep can one really bury their thoughts and feelings - how deep inside can anguish exist hidden from you.
It's strange at what point in time a revelation hits you. Without warning a sudden clarity dawns on you.
"You made a mistake..."
You think of what you should have done differently.
"Why did I say it that way?"
You agonize and beat yourself up.
"How did you not recognize this in the moment"
A further realization of the implications of that decision settles in.
You swirl in thought - a mix of sadness, loss, loneliness, and desperation.
At some point the feelings subside, they shrink into a memory, they become a piece of you.
A piece that had been previously obscured by a lie you told yourself.
Now a piece that will forever help shape you.
You make mistakes.