Comfort and closeness
While processing my life over the past few years I have come to a couple realizations that I wanted to convey in this piece.
The passionate embrace of two people who find every aspect of the other enthralling is one of the most trusting and vulnerable places. Whether you look at it purely as the evolutionary mechanism of your body pushing you toward procreation by flooding your system with chemicals causing a pleasurable sensation of if you believe that that this trust and vulnerability is the core of what we try to understand as love, there is a universal feeling that we can all describe to each other.
I have realized in recent years that this embrace is necessary for me to feel a lasting connection to a partner, that without the other person initiating contact, without them showing love through physical touch, I feel disconnected or disappointed. I know this is not a universal need and some people do not understand what I am looking for to feel truly loved. It's not sex specifically, although that is often the most connected I can feel with someone, but rather repeated and frequent affirmation of affection through hugs while doing dishes, a hand on the knee during a conversation or even an argument, the scratching of my head while sitting on a bench, just bridging the gap between our two physical beings affirms and strengthens that bond.
The second thing I have come to realize is that I cannot appreciate this embrace from another human being without first embracing who I am. I am happy with who I am, I am flawed, I am human, I move quickly in relationships, I like to cook for a woman, I cry during movies, I cry listening to music, I am not sure I will ever stop loving the people I have loved but that doesn't mean I may ever speak to them again, I have way too many hobbies that come and go and there will always be an unfinished project in my life, I am terrible about keeping in touch with fiends and family and I want to do better, I am terrible at giving gifts so pet rocks are definitely in the realm of possibilities, I am stubborn, I deflect emotion with humor, and above all else... I am amazing. If you have gotten this far, take a moment to look at yourself, flaws and all, and just love the shit out of who you are.
So, the piece that inspired all this? I give you, "Fulfilled"