Anxiety

I remember when my marriage ending and life was a chaotic jumble. I was confused and lost and I felt untethered. Anxiety would well up at night, sitting at my desk at work, or really any random time in my day.

My heart would feel constricted, my chest would feel like it was trying to squirm out of my body, my mind would race. I would lose control and stare at my screen as if it was the only thing keeping my in this world, somehow keeping me from being launched into another realm.

The inability to control the feeling is the most interesting part to me. I recognize it, I feel it, I know I am not really in danger yet by body is in a full freak out mode. No matter how I phrase "this too shall pass" anxiety persists. Deep breathing helps a bit and can keep me out of panic attack territory. Sleep helps as long as the anxiety doesn't keep me awake.

As I was processing this feeling I tried to imagine what a Soulyp experiencing anxiety would look like and I decided that being perilously perched on a tower would create the feeling of grasping at straws and trying to hold yourself together while having the paint run uncontrollably would give the visual experience of loss of control.

The original piece is 24"x36" and is acrylic on stretched canvas. Prints are available on both poster paper and canvas.

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